Facing my Fears

I am afraid of heights.

While I have never been risk-averse, something about heights has often stopped me in my tracks. I don't know when this fear developed; it wasn't something I remember as a child. Growing up, I loved climbing trees and getting up to all other kinds of ill-advised adventures. And yet, today, I find myself unable to climb a ladder without feeling a sense of terror, causing me to freeze, barely able to move. It is more than a minor problem for a documentary photographer who has built a reputation for going places that would cause most to hesitate.

And yet, I also always want to know what lies on the other side of my fears. And so it was that as I stood at the base of Pieter Both mountain — the second highest mountain in Mauritius standing at 820m above sea level — I found myself once again contemplating these competing sentiments. At the peak of the mountain, a gigantic rock resembling a human head makes this mountain both distinctive and challenging to climb, as it requires dangling over a sheer drop to navigate a path around the head.

The first couple of hours of my journey to the summit mainly consisted of a hot and sticky trek through the lush vegetation growing all over the slopes. A rough path has been carved out over the years by other adventurers making their way to the summit. Suddenly though, a welcome breeze replaced the humidity of the bush as the undergrowth and trees opened up, giving way to the mountain rocks. However, with sharp vertical drops below and sheer cliff face above, this was also the point where the climb became as much a mental challenge as physical. At that moment, I was struck by the reality that there was nothing left to do but take a deep breath and go. After all, nobody ever said facing our fears would be easy, no matter how much we wish it were.

As I finally stood on the summit, I was rewarded with some of the most breathtaking views of Mauritius I have witnessed anywhere on the island. But more than that, I also felt a genuine sense of achievement for facing and ultimately overcoming my fears to reach the mountain's peak. Technically it wasn't particularly difficult; anyone with a reasonable fitness level would have no trouble getting the top. But it was a climb that required me to look inwards to find the mental strength to push ahead, never looking back, only upwards. That will be my overriding memory of Pieter Both mountain, a memory that was worth all the effort it took to achieve.

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Stepping Out